I feel better now.

The past week has kinda sucked but i feel better now that its the start of the holidays.

My teacher gives me whiplash the amount of times he changes his attitude towards me. A month ago he stood up for me at a meeting about what we choose for our subject selections for the remainder of our senior years. Then he tells me off a few weeks later. Then he is nice. Then it seems like he's seeking me out to make me suffer. Then he is encouraging. Then he is a nazi. Then yesterday afternoon he congradulates me on my english distinction and says that if i try hard enough i could deffinately have a shot at the english prize at then end of year twelve. Whiplash. He is bipolar i swear. But its still nice all the same. At least he cares about us students.

Yesterday was the last day of term and no one was around as it was ages after the end of school. I was leaning on the railing of the second floor balcony of the senior block all on my lonesome feeling lonely as i was thinking about the guy i like and wishing he was here. So he and a mutual friend of ours turns up. For a second there i thought i had powers so i tried to wish for AK-47. It didnt work. But at least i had the guy. Hehehe. Apparently they had seen me a person up here from down by the bus stop and thought it might have been me. They told me that they saw a girl with long brown hair wearing longpants leaning on the railing looking depressed and decided it was deffinately me. lol.

he hung out for a bit and talked. It was wonderful!!! i felt so peaceful and happy and content. My attitude immediately changes when he is around. I could be about to rip someones head off im so angry and then he turns up and i feel so happy again. Although he can cause me pain too. Even little things he says sting even tho he didnt really mean them and we were just mucking around at the time.

It was still a really good afternoon until my mother fnally pulled into the carpartk and i had to go home. sad face. Andthen as i was going down the stairs i tripped and swore just as the bipolar teacher came around the corner. lol. he pretended he didnt hear anything.

Sometimes i dont know whats wrong with me. Seriously. I think im obsessed with this guy. He knows me better then almost anyone and is the only one in the world(literally. im not kidding.)Who knows the full story about ... well, never mind. I feel different when he's round. I feel depressed when he doesnt come to school that day. I hate the classes that we dont have together. Sometimes at school i tak the long way to class risking the wrath of my teachers just to get a gkimpse of his face. When the teachers tell him to shutup and pay attention i glare at them because i want to hear his voice. he's an addiction i cant deny.

I...i think im obsessed. or there's something wrong wih me.

Just to let you know im extremely ticklish. All over. Its actually really annoying because recently the guys of my school found out and torture by tickling me and watching me jump and gasp and the run their fingers down my spine. sounds dirty i know. sad face. Dont worry i just dig my nails in and make them bleed. they think its funny to watch my reactions. Arrrrrrrrrrrgh!

Oh well.

I think thats enough for today.

Cya,

Hellayna.